How Far We Have Come

In a couple of hours, Sampi would be turning 19. Let me rephrase that because she has already turned 19 if we are to go by the local time where she is at the moment. Interesting, how much we have grown and how far we have come. If you are wondering what my 'rambling' is all about, my only daughter and first child, is in a university in far away St Johns, New Foundland and today's blog is about her 19th birthdate.

She's been away since September 1 accompanied by Siya to help her with settling into a distant and new environment (three and a half hours ahead of us who are on the MST). God I miss my baby so. Today I walked into what used to be her room and my worst fears came true. My daughter doesn't live at home now. Almost all that reminded me of her physically had gone and I cried. I cried out of a realization about how much she has (and by extension us have) grown and how far we have come as a family. I cried because this is a reality check. As parents, we are blessed by God with children (biological or not) and at some point, those blessings leave to pursue their dreams and to discover themselves. My Sampi has just reached that milestone and that made me cry out of joy. I have exchanged no less than fifteen text messages and phone calls with her since that September 1 day when she left for Memorial University.

Danju and Papa are still home but I am overcome by anticipatory grief of when they too would embark on their own journeys. The wheel of life indeed is cyclical and it is always spinning.

The term 'Empty Nesters' now has a personal meaning to me. Not too long ago (that is if you called twenty years ago recent), I was a newly wed. To the glory of God, I became a new dad three times over with time. Soon I was a father of a teenager (phew that came with it's own excitement and challenges) and now one leg away from wearing an 'empty nester' badge of honour.

I continue to count my blessings and ignore the scars and if I were to come this way again, I would want it same way where my children are concerned. So as my Sampi celebrates her nineteenth birthdate, I ask the good Lord to guide her every step and to bless and keep her in HIS hands.

Thanks a lot for keeping faith with my diary and though it has been a while since my last blog, I appreciate that you made out time to visit with me. You are welcome to post a comment and while at it, if the spirit moves you, say a prayer for my Sampi. God bless you.

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Hope Is Alive

Growing up I was taught never to quit. I was taught that even when the seas are rough, if you stayed focused and kept faith with your goal, that treasure would be found. I have tried to live with this in mind whenever I run into challenges as I have a couple of times on this journey called life. I have come to accept the scars of life are the stripes of having lived. Don’t get me wrong, I am not glorifying mishaps or hard ship but life is a journey not a destination, it is a marathon not a sprint or dash. You win some and you lose some. It’s not about falling but getting up each and every time you fall and trudging on until the good Lord calls your number. It therefore behoves on us to keep hope alive.
Last night was Family Night for us, our fortnightly ‘ritual’ where we sit in the family room and shoot breeze until we all hit the sack. For yesterday, the honour of the ‘last person standing’ was Danju’s.
Sampi should be excused after working for five hours at MacDonald’s where she’s being exposed to the reality check of life. Working not because she has to, but because she wants to. She’s been loving it so far and now with her high school grad behind her and university not starting until September, it helps put some loose change in her purse and keeps her away from trouble and mischief.
Danju and I had gone to our recreational centre – Servus Place; I, to the gym as always while Danju went shooting hoops on the court with some pals of his. Papa elected to stay home and catch up with his friends online having technically finished grade 7 that day.
Thereafter, Danju and I went over and got some Pizza, chicken wings, carrots and veggie dip (yes we have to get people eating healthy somewhat) and on the way back picked up Sampi from her job. When we got home, Papa had laid the drinks, chips and for the movie of the night it was “Wedding Crashers”.
We woke up this morning and witnessed the last hope for Africa in the current soccer world cup contest, the ‘Black Stars’ of Ghana ease past the US team for a spot in the round of eight. Hope is alive afterall. I must add that this is only the second time Ghana is competing at the senior level in the soccer world cup. In their debut, they got to the round of 16 again beating the US team on the way, talk of lightening striking twice.
So while I feel for the US team who played with so much passion and commitment, in my inner most heart, I am glad Ghana is still in the race and carrying the flag for Africa. Hope is Alive…!

Dad's Birthday

There are feelings that words seem incapable of capturing, feelings of love, pangs of pain, sense of grief, intense joy etc. I experienced such a feeling of deep and sincere love listening to the smile in my dad's voice when I called this morning to wish him a happy birthday. Dad turns 72 today!
Being so geographically far away (I'm in Canada - the true North, at this very moment while my parents are back in Nigeria, my dear homeland), and thanks to technology I had sent him a text message at exactly 6am local time in Nigeria in an effort at being the first to wish him a happy birthday. In my dad's family (I have to make that distinction since I'm raising a family of my own), it is gradually becoming a cheery contest to know who's the first to call on a birthday whenever any one of us has a birthday. So today I guess I was in a pole position with my text message. I then secured my 'position' with a phone call a couple of minutes ago and I could feel the 'old boy' smiling on the phone. Danju and Papa who were set to catch their bus to school also got in on the conversation.Three generations of my family!! I keep counting my blessings.

What has soccer got to do with it?

I have just finished watching the soccer game (pardon my holding back a lot of emotions at this time) between Nigeria and South Korea; a game that Nigeria needed to win by just a goal difference to qualify for the round of 16. Do I hear anyone say that Nigeria’s performance at the fiesta in South Africa has been sub par (except for that by the goalie Vincent Enyeama) that progressing to the next round would been an injustice to better prepared teams or that getting out of round one would only have exposed Nigeria’s inadequacies even more.
So what was the issue with Nigeria? Some say it is a reflection of the fire-fighting attitude that has become commonplace around us. Others would argue that it is an outcome of nepotism and the federal character principle of sacrificing quality and performance for an all-inclusive political correctness. There are those who wonder why some half-fit players made the selection and yet another group asks what on earth made Nigeria allow a couple of over-the-hill, tired legs to board the team airplane to South Africa?
That then brings me to the caption – what has soccer got to do with it? Why do we as human beings seem to lack the will power, ‘the mojo’, the spunk, the gumption and the decisiveness to make those hard decisions that should be made in the interest of equity and fairness? As I ponder this thought, I also think of how we are faced with similar challenges in our private lives.
There are tons of stories of relationships that never should have been. There may be an equal number of liaisons that should get the axe. It was fathers’ day on Sunday in North America (and may be in some other parts of the world too) and greetings and felicitations were flowing back and forth from east to west and from north to south. In the midst of it all, a friend had wondered aloud if there was a difference between merely being a biological father and being a real dad ready to meet all the tough challenges that come with fatherhood. While I am a dad, I do not think I know it all and so would ‘plead the fifth’ in this case. I am also raising three lovely children and wonder if I am empowering them and exposing them enough to ‘stop the bleeding’ when it becomes absolutely necessary that it’s the right thing to do as they forge relationships in their lives in the future.
So as people take stock of the performance of the Nigerian soccer team to the on-going world cup and with all the passionate and strongly held (albeit contending) views, I ask again – what has soccer got to do with it? Is this purely a case of soccer or is it symptomatic of a larger human issue about decision-making? We live and learn daily don’t we?

Everyday is a Gift

We are often told and reminded in holy books, by sages, in random talks and writings and by several other sources, that like life, everyday is a gift from the most high Lord. On June 12 at the Shaw Conference centre in downtown Edmonton in Canada, my daughter and first child Sampi along with 200+ other excited teenagers had her high school graduation ceremony in a very colourful and very formal event. Almost daily since that momentuous day, I have wondered what kind of gift Sampi would be to the world. I have prayed and continue to pray that she turns out as the heavenly Father would be pleased she did.
Wow I got so carried away that I almost forgot to apologize and explain my absence and failure to update this Diary since late last year. With Facebook, Twitter and Skype added to the time consuming responsibility of quality fatherhood, the Diary took a hit. I found myself promising and failing many times over to get back here and update you my readers. Today therefore is a gift that I promised to share.
So much has happened since the last time I was here. Danju's basketball tournaments; Papa's Football team, the Colts had played the Edmonton Chargers in the Zonal finals. The Chargers went on to win the Provincial trophy beating the champions of Calgary. The track meets among junior high schools, Danju's graduation from junior high, Sampi's bikeathon at Bellerose Composite High-a highly successful fundraiser over a 3day period, my two trips to motherland to keep my cherished networks alive and to explore opportunities for contributing to the edification of the Nigerian renaissance etc. And now Sampi's grad. Phew! It has been as exciting and interesting as it has been challenging at times, depressing at other times and in all cases, thought provoking. While I have hardly made any new friends in St. Albert I thank God for the friends I have made both online and during my trips to Nigeria in recent times. I was introduced to one such acquaintance in 2008 during what I have termed my short tour of near voluntary duty in motherland. He has since become a friend and no longer just an aquaintance. You are a gift Doctor Joe of 'j-wood' in VGC for graciously allowing me free access to and accomodation in your home during my visits to motherland in December last year and May this year respectively. There are a couple of other 'gifts' that I am grateful for who due to space constraints cannot me individually mentioned here. I thank them for being my chauffer, cook and sounding board at different times, roles played without a single complaint. What gift would life be without sincere friends. Everyday is indeed a gift and as I count my gifts and my blessings I am the more humbled by how undeserving I may be for a lot of them. In closing tonight, I thank you Lord for all the gifts and blessings bestowed on me and my family and my wish is that everyone receives as I have and continue to receive. Good night people, the Diary is here again. Read, enjoy and comment as the spirit moves you.

Youthful Exuberance or Pure Criminality

It’s been a potpourri of sorts in recent weeks and I will try and get in as much as my brain (which is no more as trust worthy as it used to be back in the day) would recollect.
A few days ago, we stayed glued to the TV networks and surfed online while the International Olympic Committee holed up in Copenhagen, Denmark as politicians, technocrats, veteran athletes, investors and more, lobbied, campaigned, negotiated and ‘traded horses’ as Chicago, Tokyo, Madrid and Rio de Janeiro battled to be named the host city for the 2016 summer Olympic games.
Rio beat out the other (some would say equally fit) cities for the prize; and so come 2016, the world would converge for the first Olympic games in South America; in Rio de Janeiro. A city famous for its natural settings, its carnival celebrations, samba and other music, and hotel-lined tourist beaches, such as Copacabana for the summer Olympic games. If you are wondering what this has to do with my blog, I’d say hold your horses. A few sour grapes have come up wondering why Rio with its well documented accounts of crime and ‘street children’ got the nod. To that I ask which of the contesting cities is crime free? Definitely not Chicago which just last week witnessed the beating death of a 16 year old boy in broad daylight on the way home from school by wait for it – youths of the same age range. Derion Albert was not felled by a stray bullet but literally clubbed to death by other young fellows wielding baseball bats and (as captured on cell phone videos ) 2inches X 4inches wooden planks. Let’s stop for a second and put this in perspective. The chilling savage encounter was recorded by teenagers and we are yet to see any evidence of any of the witnesses intervening to stop the mob as they carried out this dastardly act. I have children in the same age range as Derion and I have looked at my Sampi, Danju and Papa since then wondering if I am doing all that can be done to ensure they never, I repeat, never fall foul of such heinous crime. Have we all suddenly become monsters without the proverbial milk of human kindness? Are we as parents raising murderers and miscreants under our roofs? Please don’t tell me it’s an American problem. There are enough stories to show the issue of misguided teenagers is assuming epidemic proportions globally. We hear of 13 year old fathers in the UK. Kids who are barely out of their diapers becoming parents themselves. Teenage pregnancies in every neighbourhood and in every economic stratum. Don’t get me wrong, I am aware of the impact of various negatives and the wrong side of technology but where are parents and parenthood in all of this? Have we all become absentees and are blinded by the rush for ‘gold’. I was speaking with the principal of a recognized model school in Hartford, USA, and he talked of a chorus to get men back in the homes. Isn’t it a mark of crass selfishness to engage in activities that will result in the arrival of a child knowing well ahead of time that you were ill prepared in all parameters to meet your obligations and to raise that child right. Let us love and take adequate care of our kids please. I see this as an obligation. If you were wondering what my musings about the Olympic games have to do with this blog, I hope I have not failed you. As I ponder where the family unit is heading, I am jolted by the carnage wrecked by the tsunami of last week in Samoa, American Samoa and Indonesia. As if that was not enough in a week of potpourri of events, we are told of mudslides in Sicily, Italy. Again I try to get my head round the loss of young lives and once again I look at my Sampi, Danju and Papa. God please protect them and give us parents the wisdom to do what is right and to raise our children right. Danju has an indoor volleyball practice at 7pm tonight and I need to get ready to drive him there. So thanks again for spending your time catching up with the Diary of a loving daddy, and come back soon

Here we go Again?

I guess if you are like most adults, there must be times when you wonder whether life doesn’t go in circles and cycles. God bless the French who have just two words for that feeling – Déjà vu?
As my family and I continue to settle in our new community, some activities are becoming routine even if not boring. Some would argue that the repetitive activities lead to some order while other free-spirited souls would prefer a different menu.
Since our last ‘chat’, Danju has completed his volleyball tryouts and made the school team. Now that has meant practice after school three days in each week and weekend round robin tournaments out-of-town. Two weekends ago it was Stony Plain and on Sunday last week it was at the University of Alberta campus in Edmonton. The tournament began at 11am, which meant that we had to go for Mass on Saturday evening or we’d have been in a deficit in that department of Mass attendance.
To make the 11am coin toss at the U-of-A tournament, I had to rush Danju out of bed early on Sunday, a fairly uncomfortable assignment because the previous evening was loaded with Mass and buffet dinner at Beijing House restaurant to celebrate (albeit belatedly) Sampi’s 17th birthday which fell on weekday.

So I did drop off Danju for his tournament and rushed home to take Papa to the ultra modern football turf at Riel Park in St. Albert for his game against the Millwood Grizzlies. This was Papa’s second game for his new team – St.Albert Colts. The coach uses him in two positions – punt return and running back. Does this remind you of the Cincinnati Bengals Ocho cinco 85? The game went well and Papa’s team won. Papa took a ding to the head in his 30 yards touchdown run and had to seat out the second half as a precaution. He’s OK though and looks forward to this Sunday’s game in Sherwood against the Sherwood Raiders.


Today is Thursday and it’s Air Cadet night at the Community hall in downtown St.Albert. The children registered for this last week and we haven’t stopped talking about the huge opportunities that becoming air cadets in Canada presents the children for leadership training, obtaining air glider and light aircraft pilot licenses, learning to play different musical instruments, mastery in the use of air rifles etc. And top these with university scholarship offers and getting paid during summer camps; all at no financial costs whatsoever for us parents. Not bad at all if you ask me.

By the way, managing all these activities calls for effective time management because schoolwork doesn’t take a break and neither do the chores and responsibilities at home.

Such is life really. We all have various stakeholders and obligations and juggle all these we must if we are to maintain a good balance in our lives. Did I start this by saying déjà vu? Yes indeed. Here we go again! Thanks for keeping a date with us; and your time is appreciated.